My oldest daughter, Micayla, just went to college. It got me thinking how she has her whole life ahead of her. Her journey is just beginning. I started thinking about all the advice I was given, good and bad, when I was 18. How the things I know now at 40, I wish I knew then at 18. A list started to form in my mind; things that I wish I knew, advice given through the years, and things I'm still learning. Maybe they will get you thinking of some of your life lessons.
1. Don’t worry about what people think about you
There is quote by David Foster Wallace, “You’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” Stop fretting. Don’t let what other people’s opinion of you sway your decisions, thoughts, ideas or goals.
2. Step outside of your comfort zone
Talk to people. Don’t be afraid to sit with people you don’t know. Don’t be afraid to take a class on something that isn’t related to your major. Don’t be afraid to go outside. Fear has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. You can do it.
3. Be still
Peace is highly under-rated. We live in a society where it is perfectly acceptable to answer texts and phone calls during dinner. Watch tv while on the computer. Do your homework while listening to music. Instead, unplug. Unwind. Shut everything off and be still. For 10 minutes a day. 5 minutes. Just. Be still.
4. Set time for devotions
Carve out time out of your day, the same time, no matter what, where you can read your Bible and pray. Set aside at least a half of an hour where you can discipline yourself to devote your time to the Lord.
5. Learn from other people’s mistakes
A heroine addiction testimony is awe inspiring. But a testimony where God saved you from that is just as awe inspiring. Wisdom is knowing how foolish it is to walk the path of drug addiction.
6. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
Yes, I know it’s completely contradictory to the point above. While it is true we can learn from other’s mistakes, we can’t be so afraid to attempt something for fear of failing.
7. Live without fear
Death is just the moment when our hourglass runs out of sand. All any of us gets to decide is where the sand falls. Don’t be afraid to play in the sand. Fear not.
8. Be true to yourself
Changing yourself into who you think someone wants is only hurting yourself. You’re perfect just the way you are; the way God made you.
9. Live today
Live for today. Just be right here, right now. Because present is always enough. You can’t do anything about yesterday, and tomorrow will come soon enough. Live right now.
10. Be honest in everything
You’re only as sick as your secrets. Be honest in your relationships, at work and with the Lord.
11. Memorize Scripture
The older I get, the harder it is to memorize. I wish I had committed more Scripture to memory as a child/teen/young person. The Word is your biggest weapon when you are in the battlefields of your mind or in the trials of everyday life.
“Your word I have hid in my heart, that I may not sin against you.”
12. Say what you mean, mean what you say
People are not mind readers. No one knows what is going on in your heart and mind but you and the Lord. Express yourself clearly and follow through with it.
13. Change is inevitable, embrace it.
Nothing stays the same. Change will happen. While schedules and routines are important, a phone call, accident or job change can shake everything and turn your life upside down. Being flexible and willing to embrace the unexpected will bring peace to your heart in an otherwise tumultuous time.
14. Live well below your means
Set yourself up on a budget and make sure you carve out a big chunk for savings. We live in a “It’s my money and I want it NOW” society. We deny ourselves nothing. Tithe. Save. Bills. Spend. In that order. Don’t spend what you don’t have. Don’t live off credit. Don’t borrow. If you want something bad enough, work for it.
15. Be respectful
Respect goes a long way. The Golden Rule applies in every situation.
16. Be chivalrous
If you’re a boy, duh. But if you’re a girl, opening doors for people is just nice. Helping an older lady with her jacket on is just courteous. Giving up your seat to a pregnant woman is the right thing to do.
17. Never stop learning
They say we learn something new every day. And while I believe there are gobs of information soaring out at me, I believe it is important to be diligent about it. My brain is less sticky the older I get. The more I read, watch, observe, study...surely something will stick.
18. Be the friend you would love to have
When you see someone sitting alone or sad, sit with them. Everyone knows what it's like to be lonely. Be Jesus with skin on.
19. Follow God's plan for your life
Because you have memorized Scripture, spent time with Him daily and are still each day, His voice will be easier to recognize. Easier to follow. He has a perfect plan for your life. He has known what that is since the time you were conceived. He will never steer you wrong.
20. Marry a mighty man (or woman) of God
Non-negotiable. Your heart will hurt forever if you and your mate aren’t on the same page with the Lord. It goes without saying that the Lord should be your foundation in your life. But He also needs to be your foundation in your relationships. You shouldn’t even consider dating someone if they don’t have the same relationship with God.
Bonus tip:
Never judge other people’s kids
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t judge anyone. But you really shouldn’t judge other’s kids, because you never know how your kids will turn out. Two kids can be raised exactly the same way, with the same values, same parents, same privileges and disadvantages and turn out completely different. People make their own choices.
There are many, many more life lessons. I'm sure when I am 80 I will revisit my lessons and add a few more. Please share some that you have learned along the way.
