Dating: A dozen roses and a shy card.
Engaged: A box of chocolates and a long love letter spewing sentiments of a long life together.
First year of marriage: A flower from a gas station and a card that had grandma scratched off and a sheepish grin that said, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Five years later: It’s Valentines Day?
Nineteen years in: It’s a made up holiday anyway.
Expectations. We can build something up so much in our mind that our loved one can not possibly achieve it. We look for expressions of love that, even when our husbands or boyfriends try, they fall short.
There was a study of what makes married woman happy. It found that the biggest factor was their husband’s emotional engagement. When he is affectionate, empathetic, “tuned into his wife”, that was the most important factor in predicting his wife’s happiness.
But the study also found "if the wife had to choose between having a husband who is taking half the housework and having a husband who is really making a conscious, deliberate effort to focus emotionally on his wife, the emotional focus is much more likely to be a paramount concern."
Interesting. The crazy thing...the poor men in our life can’t win. Our tastes change. Our level of happiness changes. Our needs change.
I’m reading a book right now and one of the main characters is a tired mom. She says that five years ago she would have given anything for a dozen roses brought home by her husband. But now, if he offered her the chance to take a ten minute nap she would fall to the ground in delight. I think many of us can relate.
Men tend to be more action-orientated in their love giving. Help with chores, repair the garage door, or bring home a paycheck. However, that doesn’t show the affection we may desperately long for on Valentines Day, or any day.
But men aren’t mind readers, nor are they experts in romance.
So take them off the hook. What if this year you focused not on your expectations or disappointments but on the One who wants to romance you. He’s been trying to show you each and every day how cherished you are in His sight. What if this you you looked to the Lord to meet your expectations first and the let the man in your life to do what he can.
Remember what His word says says about you today and every day:
• He calls you unforgettable: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15).
• He says He has always loved you and always will: "...I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).
• He calls Himself your Husband: "For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit..." (Isaiah 54:5-6a).
• He says His love for you is greater than anything you'll ever find on this earth:"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). And then Jesus did just that -- He laid down His life for you...one He calls "friend."
• He promises He'll never leave you: "...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5b).
• He assures you in His Word that He has chosen you as His own: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight..." (Ephesians 1:4).
• He assures you in His Word that nothing will be able to separate you from His ever-pursuing love: "... neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39).
This is your love letter this Valentine’s Day. And if you’re husband or boyfriend makes an attempr that isn’t quite up to your expectations, thank God for him!
P.S. Rich and I are watching tv, eating lunch at home, running errands, picking up kids from school, going to Dale’s basket ball game, eating at home... enjoying our family. After all, it’s a made up holiday. =D I love him.
Engaged: A box of chocolates and a long love letter spewing sentiments of a long life together.
First year of marriage: A flower from a gas station and a card that had grandma scratched off and a sheepish grin that said, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Five years later: It’s Valentines Day?
Nineteen years in: It’s a made up holiday anyway.
Expectations. We can build something up so much in our mind that our loved one can not possibly achieve it. We look for expressions of love that, even when our husbands or boyfriends try, they fall short.
There was a study of what makes married woman happy. It found that the biggest factor was their husband’s emotional engagement. When he is affectionate, empathetic, “tuned into his wife”, that was the most important factor in predicting his wife’s happiness.
But the study also found "if the wife had to choose between having a husband who is taking half the housework and having a husband who is really making a conscious, deliberate effort to focus emotionally on his wife, the emotional focus is much more likely to be a paramount concern."
Interesting. The crazy thing...the poor men in our life can’t win. Our tastes change. Our level of happiness changes. Our needs change.
I’m reading a book right now and one of the main characters is a tired mom. She says that five years ago she would have given anything for a dozen roses brought home by her husband. But now, if he offered her the chance to take a ten minute nap she would fall to the ground in delight. I think many of us can relate.
Men tend to be more action-orientated in their love giving. Help with chores, repair the garage door, or bring home a paycheck. However, that doesn’t show the affection we may desperately long for on Valentines Day, or any day.
But men aren’t mind readers, nor are they experts in romance.
So take them off the hook. What if this year you focused not on your expectations or disappointments but on the One who wants to romance you. He’s been trying to show you each and every day how cherished you are in His sight. What if this you you looked to the Lord to meet your expectations first and the let the man in your life to do what he can.
Remember what His word says says about you today and every day:
• He calls you unforgettable: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15).
• He says He has always loved you and always will: "...I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).
• He calls Himself your Husband: "For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit..." (Isaiah 54:5-6a).
• He says His love for you is greater than anything you'll ever find on this earth:"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). And then Jesus did just that -- He laid down His life for you...one He calls "friend."
• He promises He'll never leave you: "...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5b).
• He assures you in His Word that He has chosen you as His own: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight..." (Ephesians 1:4).
• He assures you in His Word that nothing will be able to separate you from His ever-pursuing love: "... neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39).
This is your love letter this Valentine’s Day. And if you’re husband or boyfriend makes an attempr that isn’t quite up to your expectations, thank God for him!
P.S. Rich and I are watching tv, eating lunch at home, running errands, picking up kids from school, going to Dale’s basket ball game, eating at home... enjoying our family. After all, it’s a made up holiday. =D I love him.
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