Miss Sandi

Miss Sandi


A new cassette. Shiny, plastic covering. No cracks in the case. The artwork on the cover was beautiful. It was a photograph of a woman. She had feathered blonde hair, a soft smile and a robin blue shirt that matched her eyes. I remember suddenly wanting a pearl necklace that matched hers.


I grabbed my scissors and put the first scratch in the case trying to get that darn plastic from the store off. Dang it. I finally opened the case and popped the cassette into my boom box. I pulled the jacket out, unfolded it and followed the teeny print. Oh. My. Goodness. I'm not exactly sure how this happened, but God touched an angel's voice, threw it down and it fell into my bedroom and into my tape player. I had never heard anyone sing like that before. From the first song, "Give Him The Glory" to "The Stage Is Bare" my eyes and ears were transfixed and transfigured. Over and over I played it. I flipped it from A side to B side and back again, memorizing each word and note. Soon I was mimicking her as best I could; getting every nuance and high note down to near perfection.


My dad bought a concert video of hers. I loved how she performed. I hung on every word she spoke, every note she sang. I remember she did a spoof of "Jesus Loves Me," and mentioned how much she adored Barbara Streisand, then Karen Carpenter growing up, then proceeded to sing just like them. I thought, *gasp* "that's me!" I adored Amy Grant, sang just like her, copied her to the letter; and now this lady...Sandi Patty, to a t.


It was in that video that I saw her sign "We Shall Behold Him." By now, I was a die hard fan. I had all of her tapes to this point, nearly all of her background tapes, and now, Dad started collecting her concert videos. I loved her. Yet when I saw her sign this song, I adored her even more.


I remember sitting with my family to watch this video in the TV room. My sister, Sue, had passed away from lupus two years prior. Both of my grandmothers had just passed away and my sister, Deanna, was fighting very hard against breast/bone cancer. Her singing this song was a gift from the Holy Spirit; her signing it was her way of opening it.


"The sky shall unfold
Preparing His entrance
The stars shall applaud Him
With thunders of praise


The sweet light in His eyes,
Shall enhance those awaiting
And we shall behold Him
Then face to face


O, we shall behold Him
We shall behold him
Face to face, in all of His glory
We shall behold Him
Yes, we shall behold Him
Face to face, our Savior and Lord


The angel will shout
The shout of His coming
The sleeping will rise
From their slumbering place


And those who remain
Will be changed in a moment
And we shall behold Him,
Then face to face."


We all stared at the screen and cried. We rewound it and cried again. I studied the videotape and memorized every sign. My dad bought the background tape and soon added it to my repertoire of songs that I would sing at churches and concerts. My favorite audience was my sister, Deanna; the one fighting cancer. I'd sing that song over and over. She'd sit in the recliner, close her eyes, listen, worship, raise her hands, cry, and then at the end say, "that was very nice, Beckie. Except that last note." =) I sang it at her funeral a few months later.


My dad's third eye was a video camera.  He had it at every concert, recital and goofball moment. He had that camera when I performed that song. My brother was in the audience. He liked to hear me sing as well.


Nearly a year after Deanne died, my brother, Dave was diagnosed with cancer. Every once in awhile he would ask me to sing "We Shall Behold Him." I think when you're lying in a hospital bed, knowing death is eminent, it's comforting to know that a grave will not hold you down. Even though I love singing for my family, I also feel weird because I don't know where to look. So I close my eyes. I remember singing for Dave one time and as the last note faded I looked up and saw a tear trickle down his cheek and seep into the pillow. I remember feeling so sorry for him. Wanting to comfort him, but not knowing how.


But this is what I have come to believe: death may have been banging his door down; he was just moments from eternity; but I believe this song brought comfort to him. I believe Dave imagined himself looking at his Savior and Lord for the first time face to face. Even though he would fall 'asleep', he would wake up in a glorified body, healthy, whole, and healed, and see his Jesus before I did. That tear was a tear of joy and happiness, not one of sorrow.


This last weekend I went to Women of Faith in Milwaukee.  One of the speakers was Sandi Patty.  Oh my goodness.  When she appeared on that stage and the first notes drifted to my ears, I was suddenly twelve years old again.  I found myself hugging my knees with a big dopey grin on my face.  Her voice rose and fell, climbing over memories of my past.  Between songs, she talked of her life, her children, her struggles. She ended with a song I knew well.  She turned to a section in the arena and signed, "I will sign."  Then the music started...  Her voice rang out...  The tears fell...  "The sky shall unfold..."


There were so many emotions wrapped up in that one song.  I was truly surprised at my reaction.  You know the phrase, "tears trickled down my cheeks" well, the tears trickled, dripped, spilled, poured then gushed down my cheeks.  My cheeks got a good washing.  I thought of my sister, Deanne and my brother, Dave.  My dad with his eye glued to the video camera...a dopey grin on his face.  Then my mind rested on Dad.  It won't be long before he will truly see Jesus face to face.  It's so bittersweet.


I recorded her singing and could barely keep the camera steady.  I could have sobbed.  It's funny the emotions that bubble up to the surface when you hear a certain song.


They had autograph signings after the conference.  When I finally saw this woman of faith, I hugged her and said, "you're my Karen Carpenter! You have no idea the impact you have had on my life."  I told her one of the many stories I could have shared, gave her a final hug and nearly walked away without my picture with her.  Silly me! 


I am so blessed that she was a part of my youth.  I'm so incredibly thankful that I was able to meet her as an adult.  I love her.

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